Featuring the perspective of firefighter and facilitator Pat Zazelenchuk
Strength is evolving.
Not through technology, accolades, or physical feats, but through the quiet courage of showing up as our truest selves. For too long, society applauded the loudest, boldest, strongest among us, while discouraging vulnerability. But that narrative is shifting. Strength is no longer defined for us; it is something we define for ourselves.
Redefining Strength Beyond Stoicism
And yet, the weight of expectation still presses heavily on men. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, 60% of people with a mental health problem or illness won’t seek help for fear of being labelled ‘weak’.1 It’s a statistic that speaks volumes, because asking for help is not weakness, but courage.
It’s time to redefine strength: to let go of rigid checkboxes and embrace all that strength can be.
This November, as we continue to unlearn for Men’s Health Awareness Month, we sat down with Pat Zazelenchuk. By day, Pat is a firefighter with the City of Edmonton, carrying the physical demands of his job with skill and dedication. By night, he is a facilitator in our network, showing that mental strength requires its own kind of courage. For Pat, strength isn’t a fixed state, it’s daily practice.
Asking for Help as Everyday Courage
“Strength isn’t measured by physical endurance or stoic silence,” he says. “It means being honest about your emotions, unafraid of judgment, and no longer feeling the need to perform toughness.” Over time, Pat’s understanding of strength has deepened. “Historically, men were expected to suppress vulnerability, but that suppression disconnects us from ourselves and those around us.” True strength, he explains, comes from acknowledging pain, expressing feelings, and embracing emotional openness. That’s what brings balance to life.
Pat emphasizes that asking for help is not weakness, it’s wisdom. Through therapy and the support of his family, he learned to navigate stress, recognize triggers, and develop healthy coping strategies. “Life is too short to live in distress, anger, or shame,” he reflects. His lived experience, combined with his work as a Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) and The Working Mind (TWM) facilitator, reinforces a critical message: men’s mental health matters, and seeking support is essential.
Support, Pat admits, isn’t always simple. Even when reaching out to trusted friends or family, responses may not always meet expectations, and that’s part of healing. “Two years ago, I had to find the courage to ask my wife for help. As a full-time firefighter, my work/life balance was slipping. I was isolated, quick to anger, emotionally checked out at home, and I completely missed the signs, even as a facilitator and peer support member.” Healing is rarely linear but having a core circle you fully trust makes a difference.
Looking more broadly at men’s mental health, Pat challenges the culture of stoicism that still dominates. “I wish we were more accepting of men’s mental health. This culture of stoicism, the idea that men need to be tough, is preventing many from seeking help. Experiencing a decline in wellness and asking for support is not weakness; it’s a profound act of strength.”
Building a Culture that Supports Men’s Mental Health
This Men’s Health Awareness Month, let’s honor the courage it takes to be open, the wisdom in asking for help, and the transformative power of empathy. Strength is no longer about enduring alone. It lives in connection, in support, and in the courage to be fully human.