You’re in a meeting. Someone mentions that they’ve been struggling with anxiety. The room goes quiet for a beat, just long enough to notice. Someone else changes the subject. The moment passes.
Or maybe it’s more subtle. The casual “I’m so OCD” when someone likes a tidy desk. The eyeroll when a colleague mentions their therapist. The “we’re all stressed” that shuts down any real conversation.
Stigma doesn’t always announce itself. It lives in quiet moments, casual language, and systems that reward performance over presence. Once you know how to recognize it, and how to respond, you can create something different.
The Three Addresses
Stigma lives in three places. Knowing how to recognize each one is the first step toward using your voice more intentionally.
The Self: What We Believe About Our Own Struggles
This is internalized stigma, the voice that says your mental health challenges are a personal failing, a weakness, or something to hide.
What it looks like:
- “I should be able to handle this.”
- “Others have it worse.”
- “I can’t let them see.”
- “I’ll have to cancel therapy this week; work is too busy.”
How to recognize it: Notice when you minimize your own experience or hesitate to reach out. Notice when you judge yourself for struggling.
What to do: Practice naming your experience without judgment. Model self-compassion for others. When you hear colleagues being hard on themselves, offer perspective: “That sounds really difficult. It makes sense that you’re feeling that way.”
The Space We Make: reminds us to “make space for ourselves, too. For boundaries. For rest. For moments of stillness that keep us steady.” Download This is the Space we Make as a reminder that the space we create for ourselves matters as much as the space we create for others.
The Room: What Happens Between Us
This is interpersonal stigma, the jokes that get laughs, the disclosures met with silence, the “I’m fine” everyone knows is a lie.
What it looks like:
- The casual joke about “crazy” behavior.
- Someone shares they’re struggling, and the conversation shifts immediately.
- Eye contact that avoids the person who mentioned their medication.
- The nervous laughter when mental health comes up.
How to recognize it: Notice the energy shift when mental health is mentioned. Who speaks? Who goes quiet? What happens in the few minutes after someone shares something vulnerable?
What to do: Use language that creates safety. Ask “How are you really?” and mean it. Don’t force disclosure but make space for it. If someone shares, respond with curiosity rather than discomfort: “Thank you for telling me. What would be helpful right now?”
The Space We Make : The Safer Language Guide offers simple swaps to daily language that may be harmful. Instead of “It drives me crazy,” try “It bothers/frustrates/annoys me.” Instead of “They committed suicide,” try “They died by suicide.” Instead of “mentally ill person,” try “person living with a mental health problem or illness.” Small shifts, major impact.
The Structure: What’s Woven Into the System
This is institutional stigma, the policies that exist but nobody uses, the leaders who say “take care of yourself” while emailing at midnight, the performance metrics that ignore human limits.
What it looks like:
- Mental health days are technically available but practically penalized.
- Leaders never model vulnerability or boundary-setting.
- The Employee Assistance Program exists, but no one knows how to access it, or what happens if they do.
- “Wellness” is a poster on the wall, not a practice in the culture.
How to recognize it: Look at what your organization rewards versus what it says it values. Where’s the gap? If you tracked actual behavior (who takes time off, who responds to emails after hours, who gets promoted), what would it reveal?
What to do: Advocate for structural changes. Normalize using mental health resources. If you’re in a position to influence policy, ask: Does this support actual wellbeing, or just the appearance of it?
The Space We Make: The guide How to Prioritize Mental Health in the Workplace includes “Open the Space” prompts to begin meetings with intention. Questions like “What would make this meeting feel safe to speak honestly?” and “How can we encourage curiosity over judgment today?” These aren’t just conversation starters; they’re structural interventions that change how your team operates.
Creating Safe Spaces: What They Actually Look Like
Safe spaces aren’t just physical rooms. They’re environments where people can show up as their full selves without penalty. Here’s what they include:
- Confidentiality is explicit and protected. People know what will be shared and what won’t be.
- Leaders share their own struggles appropriately. Not oversharing but modeling that struggle is human.
- Mental health conversations happen in regular meetings. Not just during Mental Health Week or crisis moments.
- People can ask for accommodations without career penalty. Flexibility is real, not theoretical.
- Language is intentional and non-stigmatizing. The team agrees on how they talk about mental health.
- Resources are visible, accessible, and actually used. People know what’s available and feel safe accessing it.
The Votes We Cast
Here’s what we’ve learned: silence and laughter are votes.
When we stay quiet in the face of a stigmatizing joke, we vote for the status quo. When we laugh along because it’s awkward not to, we vote for stigma to continue. When we change the subject because someone’s vulnerability makes us uncomfortable, we vote for hiding over healing.
But we can vote differently.
We can notice the joke and say, “Actually, that language can be hurtful.” We can sit with someone’s discomfort instead of rushing to fix it. We can model our own boundaries and struggles. We can ask our organizations to align their policies with their values.
The question isn’t whether you’re voting. You are. The question is: How will you use your vote?
Resources for the Journey
If you’re building safer spaces in your organization, you don’t have to start from scratch. The Space We Make offers many free tools to support your efforts.
These resources are designed to inspire, challenge stigma, and foster the kind of environments where people can show up fully.
Explore The Space We Make Resources
And if you’re ready to go deeper, building organization-wide strategy, training leaders, or creating systemic change, we’re here to help you figure out the right approach for your context.